My world has been flipped inside out. What I thought was a fairy tale romance that could stand the test of time came to a shattering holt.
David and I have come to the semi-agreement that we need to work on our selfs to become better us's. Sadly that also means dating other people. I'm not certain that I can jump into any relationship casual, sexual, or otherwise.
What it is I need to work on: Me. I tend to neglect myself quite often. I see myself tipping the scales in the wrong direction. I no longer climb badger that I use to love so much. I don't wear make up. I don't dance. For anyone who's known me knows I dance and love it. May not be close to good at it , but man did I love it. I find myself caught up in taking care of everyone else I lost my self. David has been extremely wonderful in reminding me who I was without him knowing it. He's done so much that he doesn't even realize what it is he's actually helped me on. One day I hope to get the chance to show him. I will also need to get more cultured to the world around me. This one is for him and me too, how can it not help me knowing more about the world around me.
I also need to work on commitment word dropping. I might have a tendency to drop words like "forever" and "when I get married". This scares David. But not me. Cause they are words. Just that. Marriage and forever can be a high expectation and all the fear to follow. It scares me too. But, when I think of my life and where I want to be. Or what I want to do I always envision ex him experiencing things with me. Trying new things, places and experiences. End result I don't need marriage now or even soon. I was really loving where things were and what was ahead of us.
What I'm hoping for, is that what we have not for nothing lost love. Love was never an issue. Not at all. Neither of us have not had control of these feelings for each other since the start of our story. I'm still grasping to fully understand the reality of this new life we have without each other. Even though we may try and spend time together here and there, this will ultimately end for what I hope will be a short period of time.
I have faith in us. That what is meant to be will be.
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Sunday, January 13, 2013
Break up
My world has been flipped inside out. What I thought was a fairy tale romance that could stand the test of time came to a shattering holt.
David and I have come to the semi-agreement that we need to work on our selfs to become better us's. Sadly that also means dating other people. I'm not certain that I can jump into any relationship casual, sexual, or otherwise.
What it is I need to work on: Me. I tend to neglect myself quite often. I see myself tipping the scales in the wrong direction. I no longer climb badger that I use to love so much. I don't wear make up. I don't dance. For anyone who's known me knows I dance and love it. May not be close to good at it , but man did I love it. I find myself caught up in taking care of everyone else I lost my self. David has been extremely wonderful in reminding me who I was without him knowing it. He's done so much that he doesn't even realize what it is he's actually helped me on. One day I hope to get the chance to show him. I will also need to get more cultured to the world around me. This one is for him and me too, how can it not help me knowing more about the world around me.
I also need to work on commitment word dropping. I might have a tendency to drop words like "forever" and "when I get married". This scares David. But not me. Cause they are words. Just that. Marriage and forever can be a high expectation and all the fear to follow. It scares me too. But, when I think of my life and where I want to be. Or what I want to do I always envision ex him experiencing things with me. Trying new things, places and experiences. End result I don't need marriage now or even soon. I was really loving where things were and what was ahead of us.
What I'm hoping for, is that what we have not for nothing lost love. Love was never an issue. Not at all. Neither of us have not had control of these feelings for each other since the start of our story. I'm still grasping to fully understand the reality of this new life we have without each other. Even though we may try and spend time together here and there, this will ultimately end for what I hope will be a short period of time.
I have faith in us. That what is meant to be will be.
David and I have come to the semi-agreement that we need to work on our selfs to become better us's. Sadly that also means dating other people. I'm not certain that I can jump into any relationship casual, sexual, or otherwise.
What it is I need to work on: Me. I tend to neglect myself quite often. I see myself tipping the scales in the wrong direction. I no longer climb badger that I use to love so much. I don't wear make up. I don't dance. For anyone who's known me knows I dance and love it. May not be close to good at it , but man did I love it. I find myself caught up in taking care of everyone else I lost my self. David has been extremely wonderful in reminding me who I was without him knowing it. He's done so much that he doesn't even realize what it is he's actually helped me on. One day I hope to get the chance to show him. I will also need to get more cultured to the world around me. This one is for him and me too, how can it not help me knowing more about the world around me.
I also need to work on commitment word dropping. I might have a tendency to drop words like "forever" and "when I get married". This scares David. But not me. Cause they are words. Just that. Marriage and forever can be a high expectation and all the fear to follow. It scares me too. But, when I think of my life and where I want to be. Or what I want to do I always envision ex him experiencing things with me. Trying new things, places and experiences. End result I don't need marriage now or even soon. I was really loving where things were and what was ahead of us.
What I'm hoping for, is that what we have not for nothing lost love. Love was never an issue. Not at all. Neither of us have not had control of these feelings for each other since the start of our story. I'm still grasping to fully understand the reality of this new life we have without each other. Even though we may try and spend time together here and there, this will ultimately end for what I hope will be a short period of time.
I have faith in us. That what is meant to be will be.
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I know everything will work out for the best. It always, always does, even if it doesn't feel like it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks nads
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