Life as I know it

Life as I know it has stopped dead in its tracts. I, in my life, have never left the things in my life that I feel right now, right here, and I know it's forever. Love that's what I'm talking about. I'm turning 30 in end of this month. And in all that time and all those failed relationships I neglected to feel a sliver of joy I get from one person.

David may not know, nor never know the simple pleasure I get from knowing his love. Today I slave over an over for my mom's wedding making chili. As well as ribs and stuffed peppers, all I want is for him to come home and eat my food. He is the one person I need validation from.

I can't wait until my forever comes home.

Sent from my iPad

My Fairy Girl

 Do not let the Smiles and giggles fool you!! SHE IS NOT HAVING FUN!!

Ok, So that might be a bold face lie! This precious fairy is Miss Corbin Thomasine, David's daughter. Mom and I had got the change to take her to the Tumbleweed festival in Richland, Wa. There they had vendors, food, and folk music floating around Howard Amon Park.

We had started off with lunch eating on fine street tacos, while Cory was running around the picnic table fwailing her arms above her head screaming. I sure did let this happen!! Why not? She will only be young once, and we only get her once every other weekend. So I like to try and let her have as much fun as she can with in my headache level. Today she was "GOLDEN".  After our lunch we headed off to see when they would have a kids theme song hour or what have you. Found it we had an hour to kill before it was the little ones sea shanties time!

So with this hour kill time my mother proceeded to spoil this fairy rotten!! First with a purple Tu-Tu and matching Wings. Mom and I both were going for the orange ones, but our Miss Independent wanted the Purple set. So wear them she did!! Next step Face painting. Full face of course. And you better believe we let her choose her style!! She wanted this Green alien thing I knew she did not want. So I made sure she knew of all the other choices that were at her disposal. She wanted to be a cat fairy!!

Face painted in all of its full face glory we enjoyed our day building sand things, listening to music and watching our little one play in the warmth that is left! 3.5 hours later we were done a the park!

Time to Update my life

Date night under the stars

Well I am reaching near that feared age of death! Ok, not really, but I am now 30, and I have been waiting for my life to start I have never noticed how I have been living my life in the slow lane... Like Grandma speed!

Well that has officially ALL changed. I met David Pitts! I feel like the luckiest person in the world! He was made for me! I never thought I would be with a long haired hippy, who played a guitar and has no fear of weeping. (hes totally not a pansy) I have always fell for the jock, player, and or jerk some times even all of the above. Well This time it was all different I can not explain it but I had no control still do not, but in a good way!

<3

Ok well, we met on line. He was a different person than the norm on this tacky dating site I have been on for ever! Well it all started with his name, it was not one of those names like playon69, or drunktank14 it was foggysleepyhead. "Ok, who is this weirdo with the name?" I asked my self. So I shot him a message me not really all that interested but enough. (since I never messaged people.) I got a response. Which was detailed on the things about him, and a question about me. I was use to messages like: "Yo", "Hi", and my favorite "Whats going on?" So right than and there I was already hooked, he was still weird and I was leery, but this thing built over the next month, dates and what not. We were hooked! Both in sync with emotion after a few dates. Now I never want him out of my life. This man added so much joy and excitement with out doing a thing! I never knew I could feel this way about a person and have no control.

I brought him home a souvenir.

Our First Trip to Stevenson WA

Some one got a little too excited cause he created a bun out of a slice! Such a dork!

Only great things to come now! I am looking forward to the future and the many wonderful things that it has in store for us!

Diet day 4

3.14 190.8
2 shakes,
Salad with ranch
Bacon wheat wrap
Sausage
chicken marsala with what bread

1413 cal

Day 2

3.13 190.8

today protein with a double espresso
Bacon and ham salad with cesar dressing
Bacon and sausage links
Corn tacos, with spanish rice.

Total 1420 cal

Day well

Diet day1

Starting back on it! Goal 1300 cal

3.12 191
Plain latte
Protein shake
Celery and Carmel
Velvet a and shells
Protein shake
4 taco bell tacos

Total cal 1458

Overall good first day.

Sent from my iPad

Something

I have been down this road many of times, I know how it feels. You think after dealing with this for the last 20 years I would know when it starts.

Something has been off, I have not been able to put my finger quite on it. It always starts off moment were things just feel odd. There is nothing that starts or causes it. It simply happens. Things at work are great. I got fully converted and am now a regular employee at amazon. On the phones I'm distant and not fully involved like I am normally. my amazing lead and I have been trying it figure it out. We both thought it was because of work....nope.

I am depressed. Not sleeping well. Not getting any exercise. Poor deit, face is breaking out....for me these are it. These are my signs. There is not a trigger that sets these off they slowly build. Nothing matters too much. I don't get as excited as I normally would. And lets not even get started on going out!

I'm a sun person I like my sun, and heat. I don't do well with washington winter. I normally trend to start a mild depression every winter. Now that I have realized what is going on I can start to do something about it! Starting with st.johns wart. And exercise.

I realized this....day one starts now!

My next tattoo

Catch the moon